I miss tuning my guitar mid-set on stage.

I miss tuning my guitar mid-set on stage.

 

I remember wondering if I should play out those unrehearsed lines of stage banter, or just to soften my gaze and keep quiet.

 

I remember the sounds of people scuffling their pockets for cigarettes and of people continuing with their conversations. 

 

The darkness of the room is amplified from the viewpoint of the stage. But only for a few seconds. Luminous bright faces start to fill up some parts of the room. Faces of people contemplating their next drink or their next move.

 

The face of the promoter nervously smiling and subconsciously gripping the imaginary watch on his wrist. The face of the calm  sound engineer reassuring me with a nod or a thumbs up.

 

I miss taking a quick glance at the room, to see if I recognise any of those faces. Or those sounds. Or those drinks.

 

I remember it being rather meditative, almost spiritual like. In between strings, in between songs. Suspended in the air of in-betweenness.

 

The room goes silent. The smoke machine hisses.

 

The face of my guitar pick looks back at me.

 

It’s time.

 

Inhale 4 counts. Hold 7 counts. Exhale 8 counts.

 

Sekali lagi.

 

4-7-8.

 

I’m the master of my thoughts and emotions. I’m the mother fucking boss right here. I am. Afirmasi!

 

Ok.

 

“Umm.. so yeah. So. This next song is about…”


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